Forcible Contact To Strong Effect

Forcible contact is Proximity initiated by Movement

Proximity, a nearness in geography or relationship, does not occur in stasis. Some sort of Movement–action taken in furtherance of Purpose–is required by at least one person seeking to be Proximate with another. Without a HIM willing and able to engage in Movement, forcible contact will not occur.

As we said earlier, life itself, while technically possible as a singleton, is not practical without combination with others. Loneliness is our subconscious yelling at us to go find a partner because we are not supposed to live like that. It’s dangerous.

Despite this innate desire for Proximity and the recognition of the dangers of prolonged solitude, very few men are willing and able to initiate Movement to Proximity. Survivors (those men on the Sur-Ser Continuum who depend on the Community for their existential continuity) can’t Move because they are broken. Sad Clowns (those men with Decelerating Fitness, Fellowship and Faith who populate the vast middle of the Sur-Ser Continuum), while not broken, won’t Move because they are desperately clinging to a Status Quo they despise.

This leaves the Servants (those men whose Purpose it is to seek Advantage for others) as the only men who can and will initiate Movement to Proximity.

Proximity is required to have a strong effect in the life of a Survivor

A strong effect is an intense change that is the result or consequence of action. The Proximity created by the HIM results in intense changes in the lives of the people that he forcibly contacts.

In the case of a Survivor, these intense changes are immediate and material. They are aimed at the primary three layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Need–physiological, safety and love/belonging. Whether it is putting a roof over a man’s head or pulling him back from full-blown submission to his Jester, the HIM’s forcible contact with a Survivor has the strong effect of demonstrably altering the baseline conditions of his life, the ones that must be addressed before a Survivor can have any hope of Getting Right.

These intense changes require Proximity. The HIM knows that he must metaphorically pull the Survivor into his boat so that he can literally be near him. It doesn’t work at a distance. A man cannot have IMPACT from afar.

A Survivor is a man oppressed by the conditions of his life. To free him from that oppression, the HIM initiates forcible contact.

Proximity is required to have a strong effect in the life of a Sad Clown

The Sad Clown is not oppressed by clawing physiological or safety needs. And, while it might not bring him much comfort, he generally resides in a condition of love and belonging, at least in his immediate family. Thus, unlike the Survivor, he is not beset by constant anxiety over his ability to make it through the day. Rather, it is the seeming futility of living out the rest of his life that oppresses him.

To free the Sad Clown from his oppression, the HIM has to ignite a palpable desire for action in his heart. He has to persuade the Sad Clown that his Status Quo, his state of non-Movement, is not to his Advantage.

In many ways, this requires contact that is more forcible than what is called upon to achieve Proximity with a Survivor because the Sad Clown has no immediate physiological or safety needs the HIM can meet. There are no Sad Clown Homeless Shelters at which the HIM can volunteer. There are no Sad Clowns Anonymous chapters at which the HIM can serve as a sponsor. The HIM must find some other and less obvious way to make forcible contact.

Likewise, the strong effects that result from forcible contact between a HIM and a Sad Clown will be more difficult to see than with the Survivor (at least in the short run). This is not because they are any less intense, but because they affect the upper layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy–esteem, self-actualization and self-transcendence–and these are more internal than the lower layers of the pyramid.

While the strong effects vary, and the force of the contact required to obtain them may differ, there is no difference between the Survivor and the Sad Clown’s need for Proximity. Just as the HIM must be willing and able to pull the Survivor into his boat (for a season), he must also be willing and able to help the Sad Clown flip his own boat back into the upright position so that he can begin making headway. In other words, the HIM helps the Sad Clown to Get Right, and this can only be done from the context of a relationship. It takes Proximity.

A Survivor is a man oppressed by the futility of his life. To free him from that oppression, the HIM initiates forcible contact.