The Real Hell

Video courtesy of Moby.

Aye, dawn broke at Trade & Tryon and 18 pax posted for the first Jungle workout.

The Thang:

TD had a flight to catch, so he led off and took the pax straight into the worst parking deck downtown CLT has to offer: 121 West Trade (the City Club Building): 10 low-ceilinged, cramped levels that burrow up inside the interior of the building, with no outside ventilation and a nasty double-helix structure. The first 4 levels were a straight walking lunge.  Once TD got bored with that he put everyone in a plank and did Merkins out of a plank rotation.  Then he ran a modified Jacob’s Ladder around the twist of the double-helix into the very top level of the deck (where even the noise from the ventilating systems faded and the air was absolutely dead still and about 86 degrees): up to the top, 1 burpee; down then up, 3 burpees; down then up, 5 burpees; down then up, 7 burpees.  Then another lengthy plank session, including what must have been 90-120 seconds on elbows that had most of the pax crying for relief.

We then came down, out of the deck and out the backside of the building, where TD essentially had us climb the side of a three-level deck that serves an adjacent building.  On the top of the deck, in the open air at last, we did a CoP with SSH, then partnered up for 3 sets each of 25 leg lifts, then went to the side railings for one-armed pushups, 15 each side, then down under the railings for modified pullups.

At this point, YHC took over and had the pax jog to the top level of Epicentre, where we found a nice, nasty patch of FieldTurf under a tent that had clearly been a Friday night party venue, the perfect place for5-0 to lead the pax in 6MoM: LBC; Boone LBC, both sides; HSF, Dolly, Imperial Walker, Rosalita, Super Dave Slalom.

YHC then led the pax out of Epicentre and onto the walkways along the light rail line.  At the overpass over 3rd Street we did a engthy bear crawl into an equally lengthy crab walk, followed by a plank.

We came off the light rail at Martin Luther King Blvd., ran across College and up the Green and came to the plaza in front of the Mint Museum, where we used the Halcyon Stairs for 5 x 20 mountain climbers, then run to hte top of the stairs and back down. 5-0 led the early finishers in a plank.

Run up Tryon Street to the Bank of America Plaza; CoP around the mini fountain for squats, followed by a squat hold for 60 seconds.  Then straight into People’s Chair for 70 seconds.

Jog to corner of Trade & Tryon for CoT.

Here’s the Garmin report (the first 15 minutes is missing because no satellite reception inside the 121 West Trade deck).

Spreadsheets from the Gloom:

_ I referred to the Ranger workout I ran Wednesday in the Bishop’s Castle parking deck as the Inferno, but 121 West Trade substantially ups the ante on hellishness; claustrophobic, dead, warm air, deafening HVAC noises. That first 15 minutes was no fun – just the way TD likes it.  There was chatter among the pax about calling a Hitman-style “Bull—” within the first 4 minutes of the workout, a new record.

_ T-claps also to TD for some inspired climbing on the side of the three-story deck.  He says he’s scouted more of that.

_ Moby, gathering footage for the upcoming F3 documentary that will debut at Sundance next year, wore a headcam for the whole workout.  Apparently the Irish Gambler was watching our CoT from his 57th floor aerie, because he sent one his private security minions to inform the pax that while it was find for us to gather and sit our sweaty a$$es on his bank’s corporate property, we were not allowed to film said activity.  Great, now that we’ve got that cleared up …

_ T-claps to FNG Brook Miller (Blue Lagoon), a work colleague of Ann & Hope’s, who lives downtown and posted for his first F3 workout (albeit in an awesome, 5-0-style sleeveless black top).  Bring some fellow downtowners out with you next week, BL.

_ Thanks also to the pax who “cheated” on their regular workout to come help us get this thing started right.  It might not be an every-week option for folks, but it is a cool change of pace and maybe something you try for a week or two every now and then.  There’s plenty of terrain to explore, and TD, Dredd and I look forward to leading it in the weeks ahead.


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