2013 USNWC Convergence – F3 ICE

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» USNWC Convergence, a set on Flickr.


November 07, 2012 — Ed’s Tavern HDHH

St. Paul : “Cindy — a few weeks ago we started talking about doing an F3 event out at the USNWC. I was out there this past weekend with the boys on the mountain bike trails and grabbed a couple ice cold Blue Moons and was in heaven. You think you and I could pull off an event out there with just the Nation? I have a couple of ideas and Jeff’s (Jeff Wise — who runs the USNWC) kids go to the same school as ours.”

Cindy : slamming a 2 Hearted in excitement…”Are you kidding me St. Paul?!?!?!. This is wheelhouse for F3. With the Leatherneck and The Spartan Race coming in the spring, this would be perfect “practice” for folks who have never ran on real trails before. Let’s do it!!”

St. Paul : “Ok — let’s go out there next Friday and meet with Jeff to see what he thinks.”

Cindy : “AYE!!!”

November 16, 2012 — USNWC

First meeting with Jeff Wise. He goes over the trail map and the new obstacles they have constructed along the trails. Now both of our minds are racing…

Jeff : “What time do ya’ll think you would want to do this?”

Cindy : “Early — 0630. F3 loves The Gloom.”

Jeff : “How many guys do you think will show up at 0630 on a January morning.”

St. Paul : “We were thinking between 100 to 150 if we get a good response.”

Jeff : “Sounds good. Ya’ll will probably have the place to yourself at that time as nobody else is that stupid to run trails at 0630 on a January morning.”

St. Paul and Cindy just smile.

So after several scouting trips out to the USNWC in 70 degree temperatures, everyone’s favorite Crotch Rocket sends out the following email on 12/06/12

“I will shoot out email to Q’s and regional’s so they can start getting word out. Hope it SNOWS that day!”

Since when did Crotch Rocket turn into #Cantore?

Fast Forward to the day before THE EVENT (Didn’t want to bore the Pax with the details of having to put up with PBo and other teams antics trying to switch teams every Tuesday and Thursday) — January 25, 2013 — USNWC

St. Paul and Cindy show up out at the USNWC earlier than planned to try and beat the Ice Storm headed to the Charlotte region. Armed with two bikes (Yes — Cindy had MCindy’s bike), two backpacks full of directional’s, hammers, nails, stakes, and no hot chocolate, off we went. We got to right about the Rat Skeller (Culvert) when Mother Nature showed us who was boss. After completely wiping out on MCindy’s bike going over the ice covered trails:

Cindy : “Yo St. Paul. This is the dumbest thing I have ever done. If you Google Image CSAUP on the web, you will find a picture of you and I riding bikes in an ice storm in the middle of the woods.”

St. Paul : “Pretty much so brother. This is AWESOME!!!”

January 26th — The EVENT

So 280+ PAX, 69 Teams, a slew of AWESOME volunteers, 1 Ice Storm, and the GREATEST Ball of Man ever led by Dredd, this (and the video above) is what transpired…


You will find the final results posted here: 2013 USNWC Convergence Official Times. The Anti-Doping agency is still reviewing the lab work from Team Dream so these are not yet “official”. If they are disqualified, Team Core will be Champs. Again.

Classic Team Photos can be found here. Major props to MSt. Paul for posting in crazy weather and taking these classic photos. Hopefully St. Paul took care of business Saturday night.

FROZEN Naked Moleskin (please post other “highlights” or “lowlights” in the comment section if we missed something):

  • Epic Ball of Man — This was Goosebumps material gentlemen. TClaps to Dredd for getting the PAX warmed up without even going anywhere. I wish everyone could have heard his beautiful words. Huge 3rd F!!!!
  • Team Lewis and Clark — Several teams totally disregarded the pre-event logistics and warnings and decided 5 miles just wasn’t enough on the icy trails. I know Team Wolverine and Team Close Talkers were some of the offenders. That is what Team Wolverine gets for grabbing Bunny off the waivers last minute.
  • Fashion Police — Knowing the conditions were going to be less than desirable, YHC was anxious to see who was going to show up wearing the dumbest thing possible. Although there were A LOT of close seconds (TD’s neon socks, PBo without the Creeper), the winner goes to everyone’s favorite drummer, SweeperBoy. Sporting his 2 year old Merrill Trail Runners with less tread than Taylor Swift, Sweeper power-sled through the entire course. Maybe you can write-off some new kicks to The Balsa Gliders this spring brother.
  • MVFlea — There is no doubt who the MVP of this event went to. Is there anything Flea can’t do? While volunteering to video the event for us, Flea just happened to be there when ShortSale voluntarily fell off the monkey bars and broke his arm so he could get his name changed to Terminator (#disclaimer). Doing his best McGyver, Flea jumped into action, broke one of our directional’s, made a splint, and got ShortSale to safe ground. I suggest having Flea post at every F3 Convergence there is going forward.
  • Cracker with Merlot — Several PAX witnessed a flash of human flesh roll by them to their amazement but only to come back upon that flash moments later spilling about 2 bottles of Merlot on the course. Either Cracker was trying to melt the ice on the trails or maybe he thought BigFoot was chasing him through the woods. Nice work brother!
  • WakeUpCall II — Never got the dudes official name (I think he is one of Tiger Rags boyz in the South) but major props doing your best WakeUpCall impersonation with sleeveless shirt and shorts. I just hope the frost bite on your arms is gone by now.
  • Real Donkey Kong? — Not really quite sure how Donkey Kong got his name but there were rumors that on Obstacle 6, he didn’t even mess with the actual obstacles and just shimmied the wire on top. I have not confirmed he was throwing barrels as well.
  • Chap’s Adventure Tours — Major props goes out to Chaps for bringing his Statesville crew down south for the day in bad conditions. Ya’ll got it ROLLIN’ up in the ‘Ville.
  • Complaints — In shocking news, Hitman complained about something. Something about the backlog on the obstacles. He did redeem himself later in the day with a personal delivery of a growler of GreenMan on my front step. All is forgiven.
  • St. Paul or Minneapolis? – Still not sure to this day, Minneapolis has a twin brother they call St. Paul. Or is the other way around? I do know one of them ripped off their shirt crossing the finish line. I either spent a lot of time with Minneapolis or St. Paul the last 3 months. And enjoyed every second of it!
  • F3Good Bottle — To cap off the day, several PAX were spotted at the new “IT” location in Charlotte for happy hour. When we going to start getting some sort of kick back from that place?

That is all for now gentlemen. St. Paul and YHC could never have imagined the response we got for this event. Hopefully everyone enjoyed themselves as much as we did (except for Friday afternoon). Special thanks to AP and all the volunteers who helped pull this off. There will be many more of these in coming months and Good Luck to everyone participating in the MudRuns this coming spring. F3 will dominate!! AYE!!!!

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Very very very small part, as in “can you help post” kind of small. The credit belongs to you and St. Paul, Cindy. I can see by the images and video (nice, Flea!) that lots of people worked hard yet had fun. GORUCK expectations just went up 😉


The highlight of my day was the Hairburners. Not with plates–the real deal. Shawshank backed in a little too close to the propane jet engine and took all the hair off his calves. The tiny follicular cinders of Shawshank’s DNA managed to land on Nibbler somehow, who immediately escalated to BitchCON 4. Phenomenal.


Who knew Nibbler had a fetish with consuming singed men’s leg hair?! Sweeper or Two Toes on the other hand did not seem to be into it like the Nibbler. #Freak

9 Lives

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome event. All 3 F’s apparent throughout. T-claps to Cindy and St. Paul. I especially liked the “dawning of F3” in the video, Flea. Thanks to all involved. One thing my team enjoyed…how the icy goom doubled momentum, especially on the obstacles…AYE!

Sweeper Boy


#Epicplanning, #Epicday/ #EpicBB

Great work, Cindy and St. Paul. Seriously, that was a LOT of cats you herded – especially for a 6:45 am post in 23 degree weather.

And yes, I had an #EpicFail with the footwear. All my teammates could hear was me going “whooaaoooaaoooohhh” the whole time (though only bit it once). #SweeperBoyitano

And man, I wish I could get 1/2 as amped about, well, everything as Cindy is. Studies show that every day, over 10MM Americans get up at 5:00 am so excited to greet the day, they can’t even sleep anymore. 99.9% of these are children under the age of 5….and Cindy.

“Hey, Cindy, what are you training so hard for?”

“Life, mutha-effer. Life.”

Rawk on.


Two Toes

I wanted to get an extra boost by inhaling some Antler spray, but it was Shawshank’s leg hair.

Good Fun

Team Thunder (now Team Fury) is moving up in the ranks!


Now that is funny stuff.


Awesome day and great leadership. I think Team Redrum gets 2nd place for most distance covered after my wrong turn before the culvert – Hilary’s team took first place (they may still be running the trails).


#TClaps to #Metro Events Crew for pulling that off. A great event.


You guys really rocked it! Thanks for all the hard work it was fantastic time as always. I fell 4-5 times at least but with the adrenaline pumping it was all good.

Is there anyway to download the team pix?

St. Paul

Springfield, if you can tell me which photo in sequence your team is photographed, I can email you the photo. St Paul…
email me at [email protected]


I’m now just beginning to perfect this one-handed typing method. T-Claps to Flea for coming to the rescue, as well as Header, Stagecoach, APK, and the rest of the guys who helped me get off the course and safely to the ER.
Sadly, the Terminator rename didn’t take. But leave it to Tiger Rag for something just as good….Skywalker. Aye!

Skywalker, a.k.a. Short Sale

Tango Delta

Glorious day. Nice work, fellas.

If something like a piano was to just happen fall on Nash’s foot in the coming weeks, it would be very unfortunate. Just sayin…


Claps to the leadership with putting up with minutia details e.g. hearding the water boys, team swticheroo — the hemming, hawing…bailing. After losing two of my team members on Friday to the weather emergency TV drama, we picked up Pbo. Awesome times gentlemen. Many thanks for the leadership.

Ann & Hope

T-claps all the way around, Brothers… the leadership, planning, video, pics, attitudes, leg hair inhalation… even the weather. Honestly, way to roll with it all and make it even better. Way to represent. Proud to be a part of it.

Tango Delta

I have come to learn something that should be shared the the Pax… As it turns out, the photo of #TeamDream above is not the official crossing of the finish line, but a requested #GlamourShot. That knowledge drop is noteworthy for two reasons: 1) vanity is one of the seven deadlies; 2) they had time for a finish line photo redo before #TeamCore came into near sight.

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